Sad, sad story and I am ashamed.
This afternoon as I board my bus to go home, I spot a guy talking to the bus driver. This is a guy I see nearly every day (I suspect he actually works in my building, but I don't know for sure). We have the same schedule: catch the bus at 6:40am, take the 4:30 bus home. He's tall, a little rounded, and always wears his orange backpack. Sometime his sister is on the bus with him. She's cute. I imagine her to be quite sporty and athletic, and lucky her, she's getting married! I also suspect they live my same condo complex.
Little bit scary how much you can tell about someone just by seeing them everyday.
Well, for knowing this someone as much as I do, I did him a great disservice. You see, the bus driver stopped him for having an out of date bus pass. They had a discussion as the driver denied his boarding. I didn't hear everything, I was about 8 people behind him. I could tell he was waiting for the rest of the passengers to get on and I inferred that he would either continue his conversation with the driver once we've passed, or he would get off.
I have 2 books of bus tickets. Almost always do. I can spare one ticket to let this guy I kinda know get home at the time he wants. I've already torn my ticket from the booklet, but I pull it out again, fully intending to pay his fare.
Uh oh, Shani goes one thought too far (it always seems I over-think or don't think enough) "it's kinda weird for a girl to be doing something like this, it's usually gentlemen who do it for ladies"
and I sliently walk by, with my booklet of tickets still in my hand, visibal to this poor guy, like I was rubbing it in his face.
He then vacates the bus and I imagine myself standing and yelling "wait!" but that's all it is, an imagination.
So there I go, the rest of the ride sitting in silent shame for my inaction.
The irony? I just finished writing a speech, you'll see it below in my previous post, about how you shouldn't be afraid to be who you want to be. Don't let society put you in a box.
I let myself be boxed in for a millisecond and it's caused me remorse for the past hour and a half. Sure, it will pass, but wouldn't I prefer be pleased with my action for days, rather than dismayed for my inaction for even a moment?
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Speech, speech, speech!
For my assignment last week, I created a speech on something that I feel strongly about. I was a little nervous leading up to the presentation, but then I gave it loud and proud! (this just in, I got an A!)
Gender Equality
Equality has been a topic of discussion and complaint for centuries. In our progressive society, we are letting people be who they are, without fear of repercussion. I understand that not all efforts of equality have yet reached their end goal, but the effort is there, the message is reaching its audience. I fear, however, that as we strive for equality, the lines blur and we try to become someone else.
I can see this happening with feminism in particular - the first real political battle for equality, which began with women’s suffrage, giving us the right to vote, to be heard, to be counted among those who could think for themselves and make their own decisions.
I believe that the feminist movement and women’s rights are an integral part of our heritage and that our society needed it to progress. Women do need to be educated, to be heard, to understand we have a place in the world. Because in centuries past women have been left in the home to care for our children, we were considered lesser than men for our lack of education and worldly experience. (pause)
Times have changed.
We now know we have the ability to study all the same subjects a man can.
We now know we can have a voice to be heard as a man can.
And we now know we are just as valuable as a man is.
We’ve done it, we’ve created ourselves equal. Yes, there are still arguments about salary comparisons in the workforce but…we are entitled to the same treatment, the same education, the same lifestyle as a man. We are no longer expected to stay at home and raise our families, to cook and to clean. We can leave those charges to someone else so we can be out in the world and live as a man lives. In fact, it is expected that we do.
But if this was the way life is supposed to be, then why are we made different? Women and men are different from one another: in the way we process information, process and express emotion. The things we are interested in and care about are different. Generally speaking, men enjoy electronics and tools while women enjoy presentation and cleanliness.
To be equal does not mean to be the same. Men and women are made different so we can complement one another while staying true to ourselves, not be cloned into what the other is. All we want is equal opportunity.
Too often we think that to be equal and fair is to be doing the exact same thing.
As women, let’s focus on our abilities and our strengths. We know what they are, we complain about men not have these same skills all the time, how they can’t live up to our expectations of organization, cleanliness, planning. “They have a one-track mind” we always say. We are good at these things.
Good at multi-tasking and taking care of others. Women are nurturers by nature. We have compassion and empathy. We have the ability to group together in great force. To make differences. Look at what we have accomplished from the 1800’s until now: voting, education, working.
We even get to wear pants! Heaven knows everything is easier in pants.
The problem is: everything in this world is valued by dollars and cents. What’s your salary? How much is your house worth? What did you pay for that car?
You can’t put a value on a woman. For the mother who still decides, even after all we have accomplished, to stay home to care for her children rather than to work outside the home, there is little value given her, even from her peers. She is viewed as non-progressive and old-fashioned. She doesn’t add to the family income, so she is not contributing. Do you agree?
The woman who decides to return to work to contribute to the family income, is she worth more than the one who stays home?
People say that you are putting your life on hold and not reaching your potential if you ignore your career to focus on mothering. Well, raising children up to be responsible, confident citizens of this world is a career. It’s the only job that is life-long. Not checking in at the office everyday does not mean you’re not contributing to society. All it means is you’re choosing to contribute in a different way.
Don’t let the world dictate who you should be, what you should do and how you should do it. Be who you are. Everyone has a value, whether it is recognized or not.
Those we choose to spend our lives with are termed our Life Partners. In business, you partner with someone who has the same drive and interests as you, but who has different knowledge or skills so you can work together and complement each other to achieve the same goal. A business can’t work when everyone knows and does the same thing. Diversity is necessary.
Let us work the same. Work to strengthen your individual skills, become who you are, then share yourself with someone else. Don’t clone yourself. It is important to be equal, but don’t sacrifice being individual.
I can see this happening with feminism in particular - the first real political battle for equality, which began with women’s suffrage, giving us the right to vote, to be heard, to be counted among those who could think for themselves and make their own decisions.
I believe that the feminist movement and women’s rights are an integral part of our heritage and that our society needed it to progress. Women do need to be educated, to be heard, to understand we have a place in the world. Because in centuries past women have been left in the home to care for our children, we were considered lesser than men for our lack of education and worldly experience. (pause)
Times have changed.
We now know we have the ability to study all the same subjects a man can.
We now know we can have a voice to be heard as a man can.
And we now know we are just as valuable as a man is.
We’ve done it, we’ve created ourselves equal. Yes, there are still arguments about salary comparisons in the workforce but…we are entitled to the same treatment, the same education, the same lifestyle as a man. We are no longer expected to stay at home and raise our families, to cook and to clean. We can leave those charges to someone else so we can be out in the world and live as a man lives. In fact, it is expected that we do.
But if this was the way life is supposed to be, then why are we made different? Women and men are different from one another: in the way we process information, process and express emotion. The things we are interested in and care about are different. Generally speaking, men enjoy electronics and tools while women enjoy presentation and cleanliness.
To be equal does not mean to be the same. Men and women are made different so we can complement one another while staying true to ourselves, not be cloned into what the other is. All we want is equal opportunity.
Too often we think that to be equal and fair is to be doing the exact same thing.
As women, let’s focus on our abilities and our strengths. We know what they are, we complain about men not have these same skills all the time, how they can’t live up to our expectations of organization, cleanliness, planning. “They have a one-track mind” we always say. We are good at these things.
Good at multi-tasking and taking care of others. Women are nurturers by nature. We have compassion and empathy. We have the ability to group together in great force. To make differences. Look at what we have accomplished from the 1800’s until now: voting, education, working.
We even get to wear pants! Heaven knows everything is easier in pants.
The problem is: everything in this world is valued by dollars and cents. What’s your salary? How much is your house worth? What did you pay for that car?
You can’t put a value on a woman. For the mother who still decides, even after all we have accomplished, to stay home to care for her children rather than to work outside the home, there is little value given her, even from her peers. She is viewed as non-progressive and old-fashioned. She doesn’t add to the family income, so she is not contributing. Do you agree?
The woman who decides to return to work to contribute to the family income, is she worth more than the one who stays home?
People say that you are putting your life on hold and not reaching your potential if you ignore your career to focus on mothering. Well, raising children up to be responsible, confident citizens of this world is a career. It’s the only job that is life-long. Not checking in at the office everyday does not mean you’re not contributing to society. All it means is you’re choosing to contribute in a different way.
Don’t let the world dictate who you should be, what you should do and how you should do it. Be who you are. Everyone has a value, whether it is recognized or not.
Those we choose to spend our lives with are termed our Life Partners. In business, you partner with someone who has the same drive and interests as you, but who has different knowledge or skills so you can work together and complement each other to achieve the same goal. A business can’t work when everyone knows and does the same thing. Diversity is necessary.
Let us work the same. Work to strengthen your individual skills, become who you are, then share yourself with someone else. Don’t clone yourself. It is important to be equal, but don’t sacrifice being individual.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Bogged Down
Wow! So life has been crazy crazy! But really, I have no one to blame but myself. Yuppers, all me :( Well, the part where I had two weeks of Wednesday/Thursday school and all day Saturday. Really, what was I thinking?
On top of that I had to help plan a joint youth activity, but this is where delegation comes in to play. It was the Laurel's turn to plan and conduct, so we had a meeting about the activity: a missionary obstacle course. They planned the stations and what would happen there, then I wasn't even at the actual activity, so they had to execute on their own. Fly, little birdies, fly! And they flew!! I'm so proud of my girls :)
On top of busy evenings, work is busy too. Trying to fit with the vision of a new boss is both exhilarating and frustrating, but we'll get through it!
Can't wait for my holiday in July....Girls Camp!
On top of that I had to help plan a joint youth activity, but this is where delegation comes in to play. It was the Laurel's turn to plan and conduct, so we had a meeting about the activity: a missionary obstacle course. They planned the stations and what would happen there, then I wasn't even at the actual activity, so they had to execute on their own. Fly, little birdies, fly! And they flew!! I'm so proud of my girls :)
On top of busy evenings, work is busy too. Trying to fit with the vision of a new boss is both exhilarating and frustrating, but we'll get through it!
Can't wait for my holiday in July....Girls Camp!
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