My Journey to Labor - Part I

Well, I'm on my third child and I'm preparing for a brand new labor experience. My first two kids were twins born by cesarean, and you can read about that experience here if you're interested.

Even while pregant with Austin and Lincoln, I was researching labor and epidurals and c-sections and the whole bit. So far I had come to the conclusion that I did not want to be induced (due to a higher rate of ending in surgery than with spontaneous labor) and I certainly wanted to avoid pain medication unless it was absolutely necessary (and with surgery, it is!) My reason for this was that what I found during my research indicated the medication will come to me, numbing my pain (and therefore my experience), could potentially slow down labor - leading to surgery - and also travel through the placentas to my babies. The longer I'm on meds, the more exposed my babies were.  Druging my babies could result in fetal distress, pointing us down the path to emergency surgery, and will most certainly make them groggy, unable to latch and nurse right away. A baby's metabolism doesn't burn the medication as quickly as an adult's, so the effects would last longer. I also read a study, admitedly it wasn't super scientific in it's approach, but the conclusion was that people who were born while the mother underwent an epidural were more likely to have drug addictions later in life. As I said, it wasn't conclusive, it was a study looking back, not following a subject forward and data could easily be skewed, but it still wasn't a risk I was willing to take.

Well, turns out our only option was to book a c-section. It was obvious that Austin was breach (who would have come out first) and wasn't about to flip, hence the surgery. So my research stopped on the labor front and I started asking about cesareans. I felt better knowing that with a planned c-section, the time you're on medication is shorter so less time for the babies to be exposed. Okay, I can deal with that. While I still had to grieve the loss of this amazing womanly experience of pushing my children into the world, I was grateful I was given the time to come to terms with it before it happened in an emergency situation, which I could only imagine would be so much more traumatic.

I'm going to side-bar for a second on a little rant. As I was trying to explain to my husband the grief I felt over losing the experience of labor I really wanted to participate in, he said "all that matters is that the babies are born healthy". You may have heard this statement before, and I'm sure it's not the last time. Although the healthy outcome of the child and the mother are the two paramount goals, unquestionably, statements such as these minimize the fact that there is more than just the baby involved. Here's my analogy: I've spent the last 8 months training, eating right, exercising, doing everything I could to provide the best possible outcome for my team. Gameday comes, I suffer an injury and am forced to sit on the sidelines while the rest of my team does the work. We win. Baby comes out, all is good with the world. Yes, I'm happy for my team, and the resulting win, but I can't help wishing I was there in the final drive that made the touchdown so the victory could also be mine personally, as well as with the team. I did all the lead up work, and here the doctors come in at the last minute and get all the glory for my hard work and diligence. I wanted to hurt and sweat and cry out in pain to earn my victory, not sit on the sidelines while it was given to me. Make any sense?

So here I am, two years later with only one baby inside me, with a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) on the horizon. So here I go, researching labor again, starting where I left off last time. To help you understand my aversion to medication and my pull toward the natural processes of life, let me just tell you that I was raised in a home where preventative measures to health were taken very seriously: my mom gave us a handful of herbs and vitamin supplements daily. Our cough and cold medicine was Garlic Syrup (a discusting concoction that I'm sure just scared the germs away), if you're sick you lay in bed, drink tea and soup broth and only if you're dying will I take you to the doctor.  These attitudes have stayed with me and I only take pain meds if I know what pain they're managing (ie menstrual cramps) and then only if it's unmanageable. Basically, it takes convincing for me to put foreign, manmade, medical substances into my body.

So here are some of the things I plan on using for pain management and making a comfortable environment during labor:

• massage
• walking, moving about
• aromatherapy
• thought control/focus/visualisation
• minimal distractions
• dark lighting (if at all possible in a hospital setting)
• music
• cuddling

Also reading about labor and the way it's progressed over the years from the point of view of a midwife (www.midwifethinking.com), I've learned that there are a lot of procedures and practices that happen in a hospital that aren't necessary and potentially harmful, such as cord clamping, taking the baby to do the washing and assessments before Mom sees him, and birthing on your back (how on earth can the tailbone flex back to open the birthcanal if there's a bed in the way?). So I'm armed with some information and questions to discuss with my doctors and nurses so I can get as much of a natural experience as possible. I was even watching some birthing videos and you would ask "are you crazy?" "are you scared?" and no, I'm excited!!

The what you say? Miles told me yesterday I was backward. Not insultingly or anything, but definitely an anomolly. Allow me to explain myself: we, as women, have this amazing gift and opportunity. We are the carriers of life. Life is planted and grows within us. What a blessing!! It is so neat to see and feel the life grow and move within me. Strange, to feel my organs being poked and proded from the inside. Sometimes and leg will extend and a foot slides down my insides like batons on a xylophone. Sometimes a nerve near my hip gets punched and my leg will tingle. Watching the roll of an elbow or a butt stick out creating a triangular looking belly is so fascinating. I'm glad I'm the one who gets to experience this miracle grow - every little bit of it.

When labor begins, oxytocin is realeased, creating contractions moving the baby down, dialating the cervix. Oxytocin is an amazing hormone. It's excreted during love making, labor and nursing. Coincidence? I think not. It's called the 'love hormone'. When you've loved someone for a long time, that's oxytocin at work, and boy is it ever good! Oxytocin is what helps in the bonding experience with your baby once it's born. Being induced with a synthecized substitute, such as Pitocin, makes the contractions happen, but replaces the output of oxytocin and interupts the bonding. I can tell you from my own experience that my boys were taken from me via c-section, went straight to NICU and I to recovery. When I woke up the next day, I could have packed up and gone home and went on with my life as if nothing had happened - it was so surreal. Those two weeks being able to just hold my babies in the hospital with no other responsibilities but to love them were amazing and so good for all of us. So I'm excited to feel and participate in all the amazing happenings within my body to bring this life forward and to love him with every fiber I have to give. I asked Miles if he believes I can do this, and his reply: "you put up with me, you can do anything" :)

Once he's born, I want the cord to be left alone. That's 30% of the baby's blood you cut off! Please don't make him anemic. And if there's a delay in breathing, he's still getting enough oxygen from the placenta to compensate. You cut the cord, then you have to go to other interventions, having the baby torn from my arms to get him breathing. Keep him attached, and he can take a minute to get his bearings, laying there on my chest, hearing my voice, being comforted. I think I'd be a little shocked, too, just having burst from water to air through an itty bitty tunnel, everything I knew and understood being taken away from me, never to go back. I might hold my breath, too, bracing for the unknown. To that end, suctioning offers no benefit, either, whether or not meconium was in the water. So just give me my baby and leave him alone. You can take him and clean him after he's eaten, and knows there is a safe comfortable place waiting for him when he gets back.

So yes, I hear birth is painful, but I will wear that pain with a badge of honor, and yes a little pride, knowing that I'm doing everything I can to give my child the most uninterrupted, innocent start to life possible. I don't know why God thought it important that pain be a part of bringing forth life, but I hope to learn by experiencing it and embracing it. I'll be closer to my baby, I'll be closer to my husband as he holds my hand and comforts me, and I hope to be closer to God, to understand His work a little bit better.

I hope to be able to report a positive experience in Part II. Stay tuned!